Monday, July 04, 2011

An opportunity to "language"

“Send me sample moon charts ASAP,” a friend texted me frantically last week. I replied with a “What the heck are moon charts? Are you referring to Harvey balls?” Pat came the reply. “Oh! No wonder I was getting random charts on moon signs when I ran a search.”

If you are dazed by the abnormality of this conversation, you may click here to enlighten yourself.

And after that insignificant digression, you may continue reading.

The other day, I was apologising to a friend for having missed his call, “There was some major fire here, so could not call back.” He replied in a grave tone, “I hope metaphorically.”

And then, one day, I was cribbing on Facebook about how obsessed I am with thousands separators. A friend replied with a “Do I stand to reveal my total ignorance if I say that I don’t know what thousands separators are?”

Today, I was trying to make sense of what a customer care representative was telling me, when I lost my cool and blurted out, “You are giving me a very global answer.” He was flummoxed, I could say from the tone of his voice.

Aah, well, that is when I realized something. Something very important and possibly highly lucrative.

There is a huge opportunity here – To write a book on “How to communicate better - a lesson in the language of the future”. Essentially, collect all the phrases you have ever come across in B-school and work life, situate them in random circumstances and make a 200 page book out of it. If possible, promote it with a “First of its kind blah blah written by IIT / IIM blah blah”. It will sell like hot cakes, I tell you. Yes, yes, even better than those books on how to hatch without chickens or something.


Balaji Vasan said...

I have no doubts about the warm reception the "book" might get, but then the point will never be conveyed.. Each one have their own lingo that evolves as they interact with various "social circles".. It is safe to say no 2 persons can understand each other to the dot.

Srinath said...

u want to make the whole world talk like B-School grads!!! Oh... the horror!! :-)

Raam Pyari said...

hahhaha- hilarious!

Kavity said...

@BV: The human race is heterogeneous, and will remain so forever. However, in its never-ending quest to become homogeneous, it attempts to do such things as evolving a common lingo.

@Srinath: :D That's the plan!

@Raam Pyar: Thanks :)