Without which it could not be!

I heard of Sine qua non for the first time in my life during under graduation when my friend M was still reeling under the pressure of the Barrons’ of the world. We used to have fun trying to pronounce the word, it sounds so rhythmical and lyrical. I soon forgot the word, like how most others would have forgotten their legerdemains and skulduggerys and genuflects as part of the post GRE recuperation phase. However, for a few days now, this word has been haunting me, for no fault of its. It is because I have been subjected to hearing a word (which I later realized is a phrase) very similar to sine qua non.

‘unokina’ is a one of its kind phrase I have never before heard elsewhere. For the uninitiated, that is not the way it is written, that is the way it is pronounced. The ‘u’ and ‘no’ are pronounced as two distinct words while ‘kin’, contrary to popular assumptions, is not pronounced like the one in kith and kin. It is a “betailed” (very similar to beheaded) version of ‘kind’. I presume that the objective of the word is to portray the phrase, ‘you know kind of’.
It is used in all circumstances, whether it does or does not fit in. "unokina we should do it this way", "We should include this factor in the business plan unokina", "I will unokina give you a call to update you on the meeting" are some examples. And, no, I am not exaggerating, these are all real life instances!

unokina has suddenly become such a part and parcel of my life these days that every time I hear it, even if it fits in to the bill perfectly, I want to burst in to peals of laughter. But, long years of penance and practice help me refrain from doing so. After all, we have come across better and funnier gems than this in school and college. No?

Sample these:
Soluvision – meaning solution; don’t even try questioning me on why anyone would want to complicate such a simple word as that, I have no answer
Fold it properly – When you are holding a convex lens in your hand and someone says this to you, you would be slightly confused; it is actually expected to portray the phrase ‘Hold it properly’. It is a different story altogether that from the moment I got to know that a physiological defect causes such a condition in people, I have been gripped with guilt for having made fun of this

Variance analysis – That is straightforward or so you think. Not when ‘Variance’ is pronounced as ‘Ver’ ‘I’ ‘Aans’ in a typical British accent. I accept defeat here. My English is too 'desi' to understand the models (pronounced as ‘ma’ followed by ‘dhal’) and variances of this world

Am not complaining though. Pronouncing words in a way different from normal and reiterating meaninglessly conjoined phrases at an alarmingly high rate of frequency are just some instances that add fun to life, make us look back at our past with fond recollections, very similar to photographs and old school magazines. But, somehow, they help us relive the past much more vividly than by going through albums, slam books, testimonials and the likes.

In some way, they are sine qua non too, that without which life could not be!

A Tribute that would never suffice

This post has been in the pipeline for a year now, and, finally, I have decided that I can never ever do justice to it. So giving up on the same, I am posting it here.

My uncle is a very well known Professor of English in the English Language Teaching (ELT) circle. He is renowned for his dedication and commitment to the college he has been serving for a major part of his life. His students worship him, his peers are intimidated by him and every college in this city and in many others has tried to poach him. And, I have been very careful so far in not sending him the link of my blog. Else, he would have had a heart attack by now over his niece’s grammar, spelling and overall English language skills!

He is not the only such teacher I have met, just started with him because the example is closer home.

Right from the English teacher who inculcated in me, the love for reading, writing and imagining in English, as early as third standard to the Science teacher who made me enjoy Physics and Chemistry despite the pressure of Board Exams to all my Tamil teachers in school who inspired me to write Tamil poetry to the Computer Architecture Professor in college (that is the only subject I ever truly enjoyed in college) to all my Marketing Professors in IIMB (the ConB God, the Brand Guru, the ever so nice and knowledgeable S&D Prof to name a few) to the Macroeconomics Wonder Woman Prof, it is a realllly long, perhaps never ending list!

I know what drives me; am trying to build a solid career that would make me powerful in the long run, apart from providing ‘intriguing challenges that tease and test my brain’. I know what would have driven my parents to make me what I am today; never ending affection in wanting their kid to get the best, be the best and get the best once again (‘best’ being a very subjective word, I have just used it for the sake of simplicity).

What drives a teacher? I mean, what does (s)he ‘get’ per se out of grooming hundreds of thousands of young talent day in and day out. A person as narrow minded as me (there must be a harsher word than that, I sooooo hate calling myself names), sitting in a plush air conditioned office in front of a laptop trying to push myself and my career ahead with every subsequent move, would never know. However, I do know that nothing I ever do, celebrating ‘Teacher’s Day’, sending cards and flowers and wishes, writing tributes on the blog-o-sphere will suffice in terms of gratitude.

Nothing can, should and would suffice in assessing and repaying with interest, a teacher’s eternal service to mankind.

The Photo-Sensitive Me

My first ever phone was a Nokia 1100. Touted as the phone of the century those days, many of my friends started off with this one. But, one by one, all of them migrated to something better, a slide or a flip, something, anything better than a device with which one could talk and only talk. I was left all alone with my poor 1100. Of course, the 1100 had a torch light, a mighty powerful one, and that was the EDGE I had over all these techno – savvy show offs around me!

For ages after that (4 years to be precise) I was stuck with the 1100, aspiring for and dreaming about something really grand, something, anything, for everything would be grander than the 1100 (sans the torch light though). I still do not understand whether I was stuck with it for lack of something better, or it was stuck with me out of love and affection. For, countless have been the times when I threw it across my room (mosaic floor), down the corridor (black stone, or rather, grey stone, real GREY stone!), on roads (cemented, graveled, all of ‘em types), with no luck. It might fall apart in to individual pieces, but all of them would be intact. One clasp! And bingo! They would be back in position saluting their ill – treating, ill – mannered master.

The agenda of this post was not to go on and on about my 1100 and its master, but as usual, I digress, for, if otherwise, you might think someone else has hacked my account.

So, finally, sometime last year, I decided that enough was enough, and it was time to move on. For many months thereafter, I waited and bided my time for a better phone and a much better phone, researched endlessly so much so that all my friends got sick of my ‘phoney’ questions, and finally bought the very tech savvy (by my standards) and very expensive (again, by my standards) Nokia 6500 slide. Alas! sans the torch light. The interesting part here does not lie with my phone but with how I went about choosing the attributes that would eventually make up my phone.

All you guys who have got sick with the ‘Title-Not-Matching-Content’ illness by now will get the answer in the next few paragraphs.

The primary and only attribute I looked for in my new phone was a >=3.2 Mega Pixel camera, other than the fact that it should look really good (which is hygiene according to me, be it a car or a phone) and that it should be a Nokia (like how Xerox means photo-copying to the world, so does Nokia mean ‘mobile phoning’ to me). The initial reaction of people like ‘Manage’ (the category that does not appreciate such finer details in life) was, “I think you are in need of a camera and not a phone.”

I am not really the photography types, if you know what I mean. For instance, I can’t, like ‘Rojo’ or ‘Da’, wait with bated breath for the sun to rise over the ocean and click pictures at different angles with the help of a tripod. More importantly, I can’t be bothered to lug my camera around everywhere I go, for that is what it would be to me, luggage, unlike my treasured, large sized i-pod which I fondly carry around with me even to the grocery shop next door. However, I do like clicking pictures occasionally when I find something interesting, like some funny notices, some cranky shop boards, or better still, some dope for Tinker Magazine (I know it is time I revived that account, I promise I will, sooner or later). And, the only way to satisfy myself on all counts will be to buy a phone with a nice camera, and that is what I did.

So what if I am photo or rather, camera, or rather, camera luggage sensitive? I have been very happy ever since I acquired my Nokia 6500 slide and have not had to look at any other phone or camera or phone with camera thereafter. And, that is all that matters I guess!