Monday, July 27, 2009

Sayonara

2000
I passed out of Class X, to join a different building (same school and friends) across the road for Class XI.
On farewell day, I cried.
2002
I passed out of Class XII. I was very happy to ‘escape the jail’ and looked forward to going to some place as fancy as college!!
On farewell day, I cried.
2006
I passed out of Engineering, and was so happily looking forward to joining B School that I rejoiced and partied for days together.
On farewell day, I cried.
2007
I finished a short internship (2 months) in Mumbai and was heading back home. I know it sounds weird to the reader, but…
On my way back, I cried.
2008
I passed out of B School. I was inconsolable for days together before the farewell.
On farewell day, I shamelessly wailed.
2009
I am moving away from Mumbai, my favorite city till date. My farewell was scheduled for last week; a few people called me up to say that they would not be able to make it to the farewell due to work. That evening, I was not able to make it to my own farewell due to the same reason. Even if I had been able to, I would not have cried.
My colleagues have been congratulating me left, right and center for moving out of here, as work – life balance is expected to be better in any other city compared to this one. But, that is not the reason I would not have cried. According to me, TIN* balance OTM. So, I am not gleefully looking forward to the move, frankly. Nor am I disillusioned and tearful at leaving my favorite city. I am not counting down, I have not begun saying my goodbyes yet, I am not even packing up (well.. that’s just because I have outsourced it to, or rather, it has been forcibly taken over by Mom :)).
I feel like am going on a short break, like any other holiday. When the break is over, I might not be back here, but go elsewhere. I like this randomness, this absolute peace with not being too attached to a ‘farewell’ anymore.
And that is why I have termed this post ‘Sayonara’ and not ‘Adieu’ or ‘Goodbye’. Somehow, Sayonara to me sounds like a short nap, a siesta, nothing permanent.

* TIN xx OTM is a simple, short and effective way of saying “There is No” xx “Outside The Mind” :D

3 comments:

Sanchit said...

u know, it maybe is hard coded in the human mind... few months back, i changed my project in office, i was infact quite happy about the movement but that very day i was teary.. maybe its the fear of change, or the fear of losing the comfort or mybe just the fear of losing what we see everyday... maybe...

A Random Traveller said...

This is why I hate adulthood. It makes us slowly indifferent and passive. Slowly, we become cynical and we call all the others as idealists! :(

I am on the same rocking boat as yours.

Kavity said...

@ Sanchit: I agree with you on that. Even though we are excited about the unkown, leaving the cocoon of what has been familiar to us can be quite intimidating.

@ A Random Traveller: I would not call that cynicism actually. It could be more to do with getting mature and understanding that life does move on, we experience new things, but happy memories are what will remain with us forever.