Thursday, September 12, 2013

The ideal and the perfect

This is officially my worst week ever. With unmet deadlines, defaulting vendors, confused stakeholders, hectic travel and endless arguments, I have to pinch myself to remember that I am actually on vacation. Yeah, you heard that right. And that too, with a surprisingly considerate bunch of colleagues not having e-mailed or texted me even once during the time, in any other world, this would be an ideal vacation.

Marriages are made in heaven, or so they say. But, wedding ceremonies surely were conceived in hell. And, they are here to stay. And, they are growing more nonsensical with every passing moment. And, they are giving rise to many a thriving business of sarees and blouses and return gifts and wedding invites and accessories and food and decorations and… the list goes on.

I am just back from a visit to my tailor, who, I suspect, must have been a research analyst in his previous avatar. Late last evening, he had called me with an estimate for stitching the Muhurtham blouse pegged at a staggering 25% to 40% range of the total cost of my Sari. So, I marched into his premises first thing this morning, demanding a break-up of the cost. He looked at me as if I have landed from a different planet. Apparently, brides are supposed to go crazy trying to choose the right things for their weddings and not bother about such teeny weeny things as expenses. But, yes, he did give me the break-up after much cajoling, with just a minor footnote saying, “The final cost might be 2-2.5 times the estimate. We will know once we start working on the blouse”.

And, then, there is the whole Sari business itself. I have walked into and out of 10 shops in the past two days looking for one Sari. Yesterday, I spent half an hour with a salesperson trying to understand pricing variations across Saris, all of which, to my naked eye, look exactly the same. He finally gave up any hope of my buying a Sari and turned his attention elsewhere.

The wedding invite is another mammoth affair altogether. Colors, font types, alignment, wordings, pictures… I really miss my beloved PPT pages. They are so much easier to create. And, they do make so much more sense, and can be reused too!

The next item that will come up my alley, as I have been informed (read warned), is the accessories shopping. That will involve trying to figure out, amidst multiple hues and shades of violet and green and maroon and light blue, the right colored bangles for my Saris. And, it will be another set of non-reusable stuff that will fade in color and style with time. Like it matters!

Sometimes, I wonder what the point is. What’s the point in putting so much fight into some six inane events spread across two long days trying to solemnize one wedding, when all that should actually matter is having a happy marriage?

I must be the most atypical bride-to-be in town, focusing more on the expense than on the wedding look, focusing more on the long term than on the short term. And, I am thankful the Universe made me that way. Perhaps, I will be able to drill sense into my next generation, and help them have an inexpensive wedding, yet a perfect marriage.


~Mri said...

Ha ha ha... It is meant to be a rite of passage me thinks. Like a final farewell to the life that was, before u walk thru the portals of heaven. And yeah, it is also the initiation to the world of "let the trivial dogs lie" which is a prerequisite if you want heaven to live up to its name:)

Anita said...

He he.. same feelings here also. i made that mistake in my engagement blouse. They make it so tight that i had difficulty in breathing. i went and shouted at them after the engagement. but wats the use.. but i was sure to see it didnt happen in wedding and henceforth.

Mahima Vashisht said...

No, you are not alone. And it feels awesome to see that I am not alone either:

About the next generation point - full support! I am going to let my kids plan their own weddings, spend their own fricking money, let me know if I can help in any way, and then just turn up at the wedding hoping I have drilled enough sense in them to be able to build a happy marriage!

Kandarp said...

Belated wedding congratulations!

Kavity said...

@Mri: Rite of passage.. well.. to be seen

@Anita: I am in earnest not to bow down to random expensive pressures :)

@Mahima: Good one :)

@Kandarp: Not yet, you are early in the congratulations :)